I'll just go over some of the highlights. At the age of 5, I was marooned by a band of coffee drinking Canadians who said I wasn't French enough. Don't worry, I still love Canada. Actually, I've never been there, I was just with a bunch of Canadians at the time. Sorry, I'm getting off track. At the age of 11, after I sailed around Greece for the 17th time on a banana peel, (man, that was a good banana!}, I had my first cup of French Roasted Coffee and realized what the Canadians were so upset about. After I ordered it, I realized I was in Mongolia! Man, do Mongols hate French Roasted Coffee! I told them I was American, thinking that might help the situation after they tied me up and left me for dead infront of a Yak, but instead it made them dress up like giant cookies, chocolate chip, no doubt. You see, they ate themselves...So, I was left for dead where I lived off cookie crumbs and the refreshingly sour Yak milk for, I believe, 2 years. You see, I lost count after the second day, so I'm really not sure how long I was there. Anyways, moving on. I got out of Mongolia, found the island of Dr. Moreau, bartered passage to Scotland, tried Creme of Wheat for the first time (really not bad), and danced. I won't get into the dancing part, you wouldn't believe me even if I told you, anyways. All that she wanted was another baby. And she was gone...Tomorrow. That's what she said, I don't know. That's all I have to say about that. So, my life has been really quite random so far, I'm sure you'll agree. It's not that I believe in randomism or anything of that nature or religion, but...well, dolphins. Just promise me one thing; never go bungee jumping in Mexico, they just don't have the regulations.